Kenapa Harus Seragam?

​Ini mamake tulis karena mamake cukup prihatin dengan banyak sekali orang tua yang seringkali membandingkan anaknya dengan anak orang lain. Yang menjadikan tradisi dan kebiasaan awam sebagai garis batasan untuk anaknya. 

Mamake bukanlah child person. Bahkan pertama kali suster di RS menyerahkan Destin untuk mamake gendong, mamake bertanya pada suster bagaimana cara menggendong newborn. Karena sebelum punya anak mamake sangat tidak tertarik dengan anak-anak, apalagi mencoba mengerti dunia mereka. Tapi mamake tidak pernah berhenti belajar sampai detik ini sekalipun tentang anak-anak. 

Banyak yang tidak tahu bahwa anak-anak tidak butuh botol dot, mereka bisa menyesuaikan diri dengan cepat dengan sedotan bahkan cup biasa. Destin dan Rene adalah salah satu bukti anak manusia yang tidak butuh botol dot. Dari usia 6bln mamake langsung mengenalkan straw cup. Pengetahuan ini mamake dapat dari banyak mencari tahu dari berbagai sumber. Bayi tidak harus identik dengan dot, ataupun dengan serangkaian body care yang mengandung banyak kimia. Bayi lahir dengen kulit yang masih baru, kenapa harus dipapar dengan serangkaian produk-produk perawatan yang penuh dengan bahan kimia dan wangi buatan?

Bayi /balita juga tidak harus indentik dengan stroller. Tidak ada yang salah dengan anak yang tidak nyaman duduk di stroller. Destin dan Rene tidak pernah nyaman di stroller dan mereka lebih nyaman dengan baby carrier. 

MPASI bukanlah pengganti ASI. MPASI adalah Makanan Pendamping ASI. ASI masih tokoh utamanya. Banyak orang tua panik mengharuskan bayinya menikmati solid food, bahkan sebelum anaknya berumur 6 bulan, mereka berpikir semakin cepat semakin baik. Apalagi kalau melihat anak orang lain yang tampak lahap dan makan dalam porsi banyak. Anak mereka yang tidak antusias makan dan masih lebih memilih ASI mereka anggap aneh dan abnormal. Dan statement dokter anak yang menguatkan pikiran mereka bahwa ada yang salah dengan anak mereka, bayi yang terbiasa minum ASI full selama enam bulan itu harusnya langsung antusias mencoba makanan-makanan asing dihadapan mereka. Apakah kita orang dewasa sekalipun mau dipaksa mencoba menu baru dan diharuskan menghabiskan porsi tertentu yang diluar kemampuan kita?

Pernahkah kita mencoba mencari tahu bahwa ternyata anak-anak tidak butuh susu apapun lagi ketika ia memasuki usia 2tahun? ini kutipan dari bp. Wied Harry yang juga kurang lebih sama dengan isi buku tulisan Dr.Tan Shot Yen: 

Pada dasarnya setelah usia 2 tahun, anak kita tidak lagi memerlukan susu sapi. Alasannya: 
(1) Pada usia tsb tubuh anak sudah tidak lagi menghasilkan enzim pencerna susu, sehingga organ cernanya harus kerja berat untuk mencerna susu – makanya ASI pun disarankan tidak diberikan lagi setelah usia 2 tahun. 
(2) Kecukupan nutrisi bisa dipenuhi dari beragam jenis makanan bergizi dengan porsi yang cukup. Susu tidak lebih penting dari makanan bergizi lain, sehingga tidak perlu diprioritaskan.

Yang perlu kita ubah total adalah mind set kita, yang sudah kadung “salah” akibat proses cuci otak oleh produsen susu seolah-olah susu penting dan jadi kebutuhan utama untuk tumbuh kembang anak. Sekarang posisikan susu sebagai pelengkap beragam makanan bergizi untuk anak kita. Bisa diberikan, jika anak kita memang sulit pisah dari susu, tapi tidak perlu merasa bahwa tanpa susu sapi “dunia kiamat”.”

Protein susu sapi olahan/pabrikan tidak mungkin cepat serap, karena dalam susu sapi olahan sudah tidak terkandung enzim pencerna susu itu sendiri maupun enzim pencerna susu dalam tubuh kita (setelah usia 2 tahun).

Destin adalah bukti nyata anak manusia yang tidak butuh susu apapun setelah usia 2thn (setelah disapih). Efeknya setelah disapih dan tidak diberi susu hewani/nabati lain secara rutin? dia makan lebih lahap dan dia sehat dan bahagia seperti anak lainnya. 
Anak-anak juga tidak harus sekolah dari usia dini hanya karena mereka tampak ‘pemalu’ daripada anak lainnya, banyak sekali orang tua berharap anak lebih supel dan lebih pintar dengan menyekolahkan anak dari usia dini, bahkan kadang cendrung memaksa. Mereka anggap ada yang salah dengan balita mereka yang merasa asing dan tidak nyaman atau tidak langsung akrab dengan orang dan suasana yang asing/baru. Sadarkah kita bahwa kita orang tua merekalah guru utama dan pertama mereka, bahwa dalam fase golden age mereka, kitalah yang seharusnya punya andil besar dalam perkembangan mental dan fisik mereka.

Semua yang mamake sebutkan hanyalah sebagian hal kecil yang sering mamake temui. Seringkali anak-anak dianggap aneh karena hal yang sebenarnya amat sangat wajar pada fase pertumbuhan mereka. Bahkan dokterpun sering ‘menyesatkan’ pandangan kita. Kita lupa bahwa kitalah yang paling mengenal anak kita sendiri. 

Anak anak melewati fase yang harus mereka lewati perlahan-lahan. Sadarkah kita, orang tua, bahwa sering kali kita hanya korban komersialisme semata? Bahwa kadang ego kita semata yang takut anak kita tampak ketinggalan dari apa yang sedang trend dan kekinian. Mari lebih banyak membuka pikiran untuk belajar mengenali anak daripada sekedar mengikuti arus.

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Feeling Green

A big jar of my green smoothie this morning. 

Some days i drink green smoothies & made healthy homemade cook and some days i’m just too tired and lazy to make anything so we eat outside and enjoy a cup of latte.  Its called balance. 

Some days i manage to be a productive & peaceful mama and some moments i just couldn’t hold it together. Bad moments don’t make a bad mama. It’s okay for my kids to see i am sometimes do mistakes.  They learn from me how to deal with mistakes and I learn from them how to forgive and love unconditionally. They remind me It’s perfectly okay to be imperfect ❀πŸ‘ͺ❀

Me Nowadays

The words that describe exactly what i feel recently. How day by day i realize who i am and what i want. Yes life is a journey, not a destination. It’s never ending process of learning and unlearning. 

Thank you to my kids, my teachers of life who make me learning and unlearning many things about life.

At the center of your being you have the answer; you know who you are and you know what you want.


If you do not change direction, you may end up where you are heading.

Life is a series of natural and spontaneous changes. Don’t resist them – that only creates sorrow.

Let reality be reality. Let things flow naturally forward in whatever way they like.


Rejoice in the way things are.When you realize there is nothing lacking, the whole world belongs to you.


Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage.


Kindness in words creates confidence.

Kindness in thinking creates profoundness.

Kindness in giving creates love.


Respond intelligently even to unintelligent treatment.


The words of truth are always paradoxical.

Truthful words are not beautiful; beautiful words are not truthful.

Good words are not persuasive; persuasive words are not good.


Nature does not hurry, yet everything is accomplished.



Lao Tzu 

Beach Time

My sister is coming for vacation from Surabaya. Destin and rene are more than excited to welcome their cousins. We took them to the beach. It was Rene’s first time beach time. She just loves beach very much. She step on the sands and water with no hesitation.
The kids surely had great time there.


I always love to take my kids for outdoor activity. Never once we visit the mall without specific purpose. We never think malls are good place for kids to spend their time, the atmosphere in a mall is never good for kids, especially the junk foods and negativity from being too consumtive for mostly useless stuffs. At their age I want to introduce them to the nature and outdoor activities as much as possible. And yes, of course it is challenging here in this city where it is much easier to find a mall than nice outdoor spot to visit. That’s why i still i have this dream to live the life i want in a smaller and greener town. Who knows one day πŸ™‚

The End of an (diaper) Era

I always keep this in mind that the childs i am being with today will be one day older each day. They teach me to live at the moment, to treasure each moment because yesterday will only be memories and tomorrow will only be a hope. Enjoy each moment when we are together. 

Couple days ago Destin is officially diaper free. He’s been diaper free when he’s awake since he was 2yo and 3mos. We were a bit late to train him to be diaper free when he’s sleeping because we always postpone it day by day, thinking he would do it once he is ready to. And finally the day is coming. The last day we put on diaper on him. He told us from now on he doesn’t want to sleep with diaper on because it was itchy. So we let him sleep without diaper on and i took him for peeing in the middle of the night while he was sleeping. So he is peeing in the toilet while sleeping. That was much easier than i thought! πŸ™‚

Journey called Life

I think I have to write about my health and parenting journey. So one day my kiddos can read and understand why and how i choose to go through this journey to be a vegan and gentle parents one day. Yes, I believe i will be a vegan one day but today i am still on the journey to be one since being a vegan and gentle parents are not a destination, but it is a journey.

This is also the journal i need to keep for myself to encourage myself to keep myself on the right track. Yes I still fail sometimes to control my appetite towards dairy based ice cream or cheese or eeg and perhaps grilled chicken. And i am not ashamed to admit it because once again, this is a journey and here is my journey.

Rene’s 1st Bday

It’s your birthday. How time flies, in a blink of eyes my lil baby turns one. Feels like yesterday when the nurse handed you to me and your brother cried outloud, didn’t want me to breastfeed you.

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Happy very first birthday Rene, our daughter.

Mama, papa and hiahia destin are so grateful to have a daughter and sister like you. You complete our lil family.

May we are able to guide, share, lead, learn and grow together with you hand in hand, side by side.

Grow up healthy lil girl..and keep the unconditional happiness within you ❀

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eleven mos

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walk around the house with this pinguin style, can even manage to speed up her walk whenever we try to catch her doing something naughty

start to imitate what people say. Some words she can say:  “papa..mama…koko…woof..woof… , meow…”

can’t stand still, especially when she saw her big brother is playing with other kids, she would try to join them.

A brave and happy energizer bunny. Mama just can’t believe you’ll be one in few days ahead

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The one with Destin

3yo and 1m destin

conversation #1 was in the car when we were going out and not far away from home i don’t put Destin in his car seat. So he stood up instead of sat down and i told him to sit down.
D: why i have to sit down? because stand up is fun
M: i knew stand up on the car seems to be fun, however it is dangerous, you can bump your head.
D: so when you were little did you stand up on the car?
M: yes i did but then i bumped my head, that’s why i don’t want that to happen to you.
D: If i have celebrated many many birthdays and getting older i will scold the little you for standing up in the car.

πŸ˜‘πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

Conversation #2

M: destin, mama wants to tell you that you are not our son…you are son of other people.
D: *hug me immediately* no mama..I want to be you and papa’s son.
M: why?
D: because you are so beautiful and papa is so handsome and dd rene is so beautiful.

πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

The one with the ‘mummy’

We were reading this fisherprice book about what do people do for living. There was picture of a nanny and i asked destin:

M: Destin, do we have a nanny here at our home?
D: No
M: So who is taking care of you and Rene?
D: Mama
M: So you don’t have a nanny but you have a mommy
D: mommy who?
M: Me, mama is mommy
D: *giggles* of course you are not a mommy! mommy is that man who wore white and white clothes..the one like in the ‘jack and the neverland pirates’

well, that is a mummy sonπŸ˜…πŸ˜…πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚