28mos

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Dear little man,

I know these days are new and tough for you. Mama and papa suddenly bring you a new baby girl. You have to share many things you love with her. She sleeps with us in our room and she even drink mama’s milk like you, but mama let her drink more often. I guess that is why you suddenly demand me to nurse you more since Rene came to our home. You suddenly wake up two to three times in the middle of the night like a newborn, asking me to nurse you.

How happy we are to see day by day you are learning to adjust with the fact you are not the center of our attention anymore. Now you have a lil sister. Sometimes you show your love by kissing her, telling her short story and talk to her. You even sometimes offer her your toys or your fav pillow. I can understand there were times you are so dissapointed when mama can’t play with you or carry you because mama have to nurse or carry lil rene. You show your dissapoinment by being mad at her. But i know that the real you is a great brother for rene. You just need time to adjust.

These 3 days are tougher as i don’t let you nursing to sleep before the nap time anymore. We convinced you that a big boy doesn’t nurse to sleep. No more “nenen to sleep” at noon. I plan to wean you completely step by step, started from the nap time. You cried and were begging me for nursing. That really broke my heart to say no but i have to. I really love to nurse you my son, that was my fav time of the day. But things are changing since baby Rene came. I am exhausted of nursing a baby and a toddler. I have a small size body that I am not quite sure can produce that so much nutrition for two kids. I’m so afraid of getting sick because i have to take care of you two.

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Today is the third day you took nap with out “nenen to sleep” again you bursted in to tears and papa carried you to sleep today. It really really broke my heart. I hope you know my son, your tough days are my tough days too. There were so many times i wanna play with you, cook for you, feed you, making you smoothie or juice or just read you some books you love but i can’t because i have to take care of your little sister. How sometimes i silently cried because i miss our moments so much and i really miss to take care of you like the days before. I hope you know that despite i can’t spend so many times with you at present,  i never love you less, you will always be my baby boy that i love so much. You are my little sunshine and i am so proud of you. I believe things will get easier for us. Day by day and one day we can spend our time together with your lil sister as your new best friend at home. Mama always love you little man.
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