Being single for few years, especially during my transition from teen to adulthood, has changed the way I see a relationship is. Sometimes society makes us think when you are a single, no matter how good your other aspects of life is, you’re incomplete & the only way to be truly happy is when you’re in love & you’ve found someone to share.
I even found it in my fav serials –> Friends: everybody ended up with somebody, even a Rachel finally got back with Ross. Sex and the City: even a samantha got her mate. And I even can feel it in my daily life when some people around me asking: “I wonder why you are staying single” as if I’m incomplete without a boyfriend. Well, I never had meaningful relationship, except a silly relationship when I was young and naive. People may say I’ve wasted & lost my chance to have a relationship when it’s time to have fun, but I think the otherwise. I may lost a moment of having boyfriend when it was the time for me to ‘have fun’. Well, it might be time for having fun, but I think I found out a much more important & meaningful thing after that: myself
When I’m single I found that I don’t need a boyfriend to be happy, it’s not the main factor to make our lives becoming “perfect”. Life is imperfect, no body’s perfect. I realize that I should not have a boyfriend just to fill up the gaps or lessen the sense of loneliness in my life. I can’t lean on someone to fill up my life. I should fill up my own gaps and perfectly happy with myself before I fall in love, then I can share this “perfect” life I’ve found with another special person.
Let’s say you have an empty cup, you can’t expecting someone else to fill it up for you. You fill it by yourself and when you find someone who has done the same thing to himself then you can share all the good & bad taste together. If you let someone to fill your empty cup then you are a cup with somebody else’s taste and it means you have nothing to share anymore.
I could say that at present, I’m quite satisfy of my life because I’ve surprised myself and turned out to be stronger than I ever thought myself would be. I don’t love for no reason anymore. Not that kinda love anymore, I’ve been filling up my cup and I prefer to find someone who does the same. I won’t fill someone’s empty cup and someone doesn’t have to fill my empty cup either. We’ll share each other’s bad & good sides. That’s what I’m looking for as I realize it takes two in a relationship.There’s always be somebody for someone. I think the price of it is based on how much you value yourself.
Life and love almost never go the way we expect it should be. But when I have faith I believe it always turn out to be better but in a way we never know. So all we have to do is accept& live it, enjoy it and move on. I just can help but move on now, so wanna share your cup with mine? 🙂
Today is wednesday, finally I have enough time to post. Let me tell you ’bout my weekend, it still stuck in my head as a nice thing to remember. I went for a date! I went to Mal Kelapa Gading by myself. I almost missed the shuttle bus as when I was ready to leave…suddenly my aunt, Linda gave a phone call from NYC. So I had no choice but to talk to her for 15 minutes, wasting my limited time. I was rushing to get clothes and as a bonus I didn’t have time anymore to put any make-up T.T I must be awful but thing went well. I had very good time indeed, I hope he did too. He’s so nice, I’m glad to spend my weekend with him ^^
And bout today, I feel like my body is broken to pieces. Tons of tasks to do in these few days. I’m exhausted T.T Came home later I still gotta hear people mumbling & complaining, especially babysitter of my uncle’s son. She drives me crazy. Swear to God if one day I have kids on my own I will never let them to be taken care by this kinda person. If only I lived with mom… She’d cheer me up, cook me dinner by request and ask me “how was work today?” geez, I miss my home *oh, no… I’m PMSing again???*
This week is pretty busy for me. My uncle’s home is a mess at present. Seems like we have to stand for this mess for more couple of months ahead. My & my sis’stuff also like a mess. No better place to put them. I miss my home & my room.
I hate unorganized things&place, so inconvenient for me. I’m lil bit exhausted. I can’t wait for tomorrow& Sunday (though my sis won’t be home T.T) and then I wish Monday never come too soon.
Saturday (July 15, 2006)
After went back home, I was asked to accompany two Korean students that visting our factory recently: Song Young Hoon & Ahn Bong Geun. The journey was lead by our Lab Manager, Mr.Kim Nam Youl. They were all nice guys. Started from visiting University of Indonesia In Depok. Took almost 2 hours to reach there. After took a walk around and snapped some pics we went to eat Indonesian food at Sate Tomang. It was fun as Young Hoon seemed quite excited to taste Indonesian Cuisine. I remember how he tasted coconut and he said it tasted like Pocari Sweat 😀 After that we went to Kafe Tenda Semanggi, as I already guessed before, it was not that so fun anymore. We then went to CJ’s Bar. We hung around just for a drink and then took me home. I found out Mr.Kim was quite fun guy which I never thought before. Nice to hang out with them.
I never love any vehicle/car the way I love VW Beetle. It looks nice, simple and easy. I was in love with “VW kodok” when I was in the middle school. It took hours for me to cross the street, so when it was time to cross the street I more often stood up like an idiot waiting for the road to be as empty as it could.
While waiting for the “lucky moment” to cross the street safely, a high school girl often passed me by by using this kinda classic car, her VW was purple, so cute! and so was the girl who drove the car. She looked cute also. Almost every day I saw this girl with her purple VW passing by.
I sometimes imagined one day I would just like her, driving my own cute car to school. Of course it never came true, I never have had any car until today, I can’t drive at all (what are you expecting from a girl who can’t even cross a street bravely? :p) and in fact that I took school bus to school. When I was in senior high school I still saw this car sometimes passing the road.
I wonder where are that girl & her cute car now, is she still driving this cute VW? 🙂
You Are Most Like Carrie!
You’re quirky, flirty, and every guy’s perfect first date.
But can the guy in question live up to your romantic ideal?
It’s tough for you to find the right match – you’re more than a little picky.
Never fear… You’ve got a great group of friends and a
great closet of clothes, no matter what!Romantic prediction: You’ll fall for someone this year…Totally different from any guy you’ve dated.
Which Sex and the City Vixen Are You?
I’ve just realized that I ever tried that test few months ago and never paid any attention on its Romantic Prediction, until this afternoon I re-checked all my previous posting and found this “my sntc gurl“. It stated:
“You’ll fall for someone this year…totally different from any guy you’ve dated“
I woke up and realize today is just Wednesday… geez… I just can hardly wait for weekend. Yesterday I felt bloomy, today lil bit gloomy. No doubt that I’m pms-ing *yeah, keep on blaming your hormones for your bad behaviours* I feel like wanna tell everybody to shut up instead of asking silly questions. Thanks God I’m blessed by having pretty good self & mouth control. So far I never burst into negative stuff in front of people, except burst into laughter & song (which my co-workers said as abnormal & indication that I haven’t taken my pils) that’s daily thing I just can’t live without. I dunno why I always laugh so easily, eventhough for things that not hilarious at all for others. Maybe I’m kinda freak I just dun notice well. But I remember that I’m not the only one to behave this way, Janne was another freak I know. We often laughed at silly things that not funny for others and only us knew why it seemed funny. Miss her for that 🙂
Btw this afternoon I joined a meeting with a web developer team. All are Korean and I’m the only one didn’t speak Korean. I just sat and sometimes they translated what they were talking about. I wish I could speak Korean (not only able to say some words like” annyonghaseyo”) :p The good news is we are going to do a project to develop our own “st.james” website. Seems like my boss wants me to handle this for him. I’m so excited to start this project (though lil bit get cold feet at the same time of ruining it :p) So I just tell myself: Jia You! ^^
My weekend ended up at TA again. This time I managed to bring something home. Thank you to esprit for providing xs size recently, and this xs fits me good 🙂 I hope to get more joyful time in this weekend. Can’t wait until weekend comes again >.
You are most like: CARRIE
How certain are we? BARELY
Is it possible to be an old-fashioned romantic and a fashionplate for the modern age, all at once? Somehow, you make it work. You’re a living contradiction: intelligent and worldly, yet constantly surprised by what life throws at you; fiercely independent, yet desperately longing for lasting love. With all of that going on in your head, it’s a wonder you even get up in the morning!
Get this pic from someone’s blog, quite funny 🙂